Search and Rescue Mission
by Sable-eyed-lily
Summary: Rescue mission #1,904. Suspect: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Director. Objective: Obtain the evidence of the epilogue scene and destroy immediately… The HP characters are NOT happy about how the epilogue pictures look. D/H SLASH!


**Title: Search and Rescue Mission**

**Author: Sable-eyed-lily**

**Genre: Humor/Romance**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual content, DH Spoilers, Slash (of course), and... that's all I can think of... **

**Summary: Rescue mission #1,904. Suspect: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Director. Objective: Obtain the evidence of the epilogue scene and destroy immediately… The HP characters are NOT happy about how the epilogue pictures look. D/H SLASH!**

**Disclaimer: No copy right infringement intended and all that. JK owns all. And I do not own the HP universe… damnit…**

**A/N: Okay, so this is the VERY first fiction piece I've written that has sex scenes in it. I'm quite worried I didn't do it justice. So please let me know so I can improve me writing.**

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~*~ HDHDHD ~*~

There was a loud buzz of confusion and interest as nearly every single Ministry Auror filed into the room. Many were sending questioning looks towards one another. No one had any idea what was going on. All they knew was that Head Auror Potter had sent the Code Red alert to just about everyone. He gave no details, only that they should all meet in the debriefing room immediately.

Auror Beesworth, a new trainee, leaned over eagerly towards one of his fellow law enforcers. "Look," he whispered in an awed voice, "It's THE war heroes."

Hermione Granger-nee-Weasley, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnegan, and the Weasley twins filed in. They were closely followed by a few other members of the former Order of the Phoenix.

The various conversations rose to an ungodly volume as several former Slytherins waltzed in. One of which was the infamous Malfoy Heir. Draco Malfoy was still considered by most of the wizarding world as a Death Eater despite Harry Potter's testimony to the contrary. He had been sentenced to a mere two years of community service. Several of the senior Aurors immediately gravitated towards the more Gryffindor side of the room and their hands inched closer to their wands. As everyone continued to glare at each other and wait, the speculations grew wilder and wilder.

"Maybe there's a new Dark Lord."

"I bet it's some sort of wedding announcement."

"What? Since when? The boss hasn't been seeing anyone."

"I heard from Witch Weekly he's been secretly dating Severus Snape!"

"Erm… I hate to break it to ya, mate… but Snape's dead. Been dead since the war…"

"What..? But I thought…"

"You need to stop reading so many of those damn fan fictions on your coffee break. Anyway, I bet he's going to surprise those Slytherins and arrest them all in front us!"

"Don't be stupid, he would have told us to do that if that were the case. I bet that he secretly had a forbidden relationship with Sirius Black years ago! No, wait, LISTEN! They somehow conceived a child through the magical phenomenon that is m!preg. But Harry never knew about it. That's why Black was huddled in that old house for so long, so no one would know of his condition! Then he gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, who had the deepest mixture of sapphire blue and emerald green eyes & beautiful locks of perfect pitch black hair… But then Black died at the Department of Mysteries before he could tell Harry the truth about the pregnancy. Now Harry's finally found his long lost son since Dumbledore would have obviously put him into hiding! He's the glorious heir of both Merlin and Circe. He's also somehow related to Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff, and Godric Gryffindor. The sorting hat won't know where to sort him, so they'll make a new house in honor of him. When this happens, his son will bring peace to all witches and wizards everywhere!"

…

…

…

*crickets start to chirp loudly*

Colin Creevey, the head photographer for all the crime scenes the Ministry came across, slowly raised his hand. "… Or maybe he's just dying of some incurable disease."

Before Hermione Granger could send another scathing look towards the gossiping group, the door flew open and nearly cracked when it slammed into the wall. In came Harry Potter A.K.A. Head Auror, the Head Honcho, The Savior, The Chosen One, Scarhead, He-Who-Will-Always-Be-Named-Forevermore, The Boy-Who-Lived, The Man-Who-Lived, The Most Shaggable Bachelor of the Year (according to Witch Weekly), and every other fancy title one could think of.

The angry Auror stalked to the front of the room before turning to address them. "I glad all of you could make it. I have some bad news and some worse news. As you know, the Squib, J.K. Rowling, has written an account of the events that occurred during the war. It's become quite a popular read amongst Muggles, and has even been made into some films." At this point, Harry flicked his wand towards the room's projector to show some various photos from the movies. "Since then th -"

"- Is there a point as to why you've demanded our presence here Potter?" Malfoy sneered from the back, "Unlike you, some of us actually have better things to do."

Harry glared at him before continuing on as if nothing happened. "As I was saying… Most of you know of the epilogue Rowling decided to add to the last book. Most of it is, of course, inaccurate. As they have been filming the last movie, they decided to also add the epilogue scene. According to the books, we will be in our mid-thirties. They have recently released photos of what that scene will look like." Harry took in several deep breaths, "I will ask you not to scream, but it is understandable if you do…"

"Just show it to us Harry!" Ginny called from her perch on Dean's lap.

"Yeah," Ron called out, "It can't be that bad."

Harry gazed at him solemnly before flicking his wand. The slide changed to a photo of movie-Ron at the train station. First there was a shocked silence as everyone took in the horror. Then the gasps began and there was even one shriek that filled the room. Although the shriek probably came from Ron himself. The Merlin-awfulness of seeing it had made Ron turn instantly pale and a little bit green. The freckles stood out brightly. Malfoy, Parkinson, and Zabini began to laugh openly as Ron stared at the photo with his jaw hanging open.

"Shut your mouth, Weasley. You look like a patient from the Janus-Thickey Ward." Parkinson cackled.

"Didn't you know, Pans?" Malfoy snickered, "That's the way his face looks naturally." They had another round of chuckles as Malfoy continued, "Although, I'd say it's preferably compared to that ghastly thing." He gestured towards the photo.

Ron didn't even turn to glare at Malfoy. He just stood and stared at the photograph. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and finally found his voice, "I… I look like some sort of homeless man…" He risked another peek. "I look older than Dad… And why do I look pudgy in this? I haven't gained too much weight, have I?" He looked as his wife desperately.

"I… Of course not, Ron," Hermione soothed but her horrified eyes spoke volumes.

"If it means anything to you Ron, _I_ don't think you look like a homeless man." George said bracingly.

Ron started to smile before Fred added his two cents. "I'd say you more closely resemble the crypt keeper instead."

"- Or Father Time cometh back alive."

"- from the grave"

"- who was later hit by the Hogwart's Express"

"- and fell from the 60 story building before showing up to the movie set."

Ron turned around slowly and headed toward the door, muttering something about needing a drink or ten. Hermione gave Harry an apologetic look before running after him.

Harry sighed unhappily. It was going worse than he thought, but he continued on courageously. "This next photo shows Ginny and I on the platform. This photo, I believe, is even worse than the last one." Haunted faces that were already mentally scarred turned to the projected picture as Harry gave his wand another swish.

Someone from the back screamed as the horrifying image appeared. Ginny was dumped unceremoniously to the floor as Dean stood up in surprise. It was almost like a train wreck. You just couldn't look away no matter how hideous it was. "Merlin's beard…" Ginny whispered in dismay, "Harry... you look like-"

"-Don't say it." Harry cut in. The scowl on his face was reaching epic proportions.

"You look like some sort of Amish farmer on his way to church." Dean said loudly. This comment was met with several confused glances as most of the witches and wizards in the room were uneducated in the ways of muggles.

"You're balding!" Malfoy shouted gleefully, while pointing at Harry.

"I am not!" Harry immediately began to berate himself mentally for his weak comeback. _What was next? Saying 'I know what you are, but what am I?' Why the hell couldn't he come up with anything better to say back? It must have been the undeniable shock of the picture,_ Harry nodded to himself firmly. "I just have a… a receding hair line.." He finished his defense lamely.

Malfoy snorted ungraciously. "And here I thought your looks couldn't get any worse. At least now you won't have to deal with that bird's nest you call hair. I can see the future headlines now: The-Man-Who-Balded-Prematurely."

Harry slowly began to smirk, which should have set off warning bells in Malfoy's head. Potter smirking never ended well. Besides, he couldn't even pull off a proper devious smirk if his life depended on it. He himself had mastered the art after 6 months of practice in his bathroom mirror when he was eight. But back the failure that was Potter's smirk. "Well, Malfoy, you will be relieved to know that you weren't left out of this either." The wand waved a bit more cheerfully as the photo of future-Malfoy came into view.

The room was silent until Parkinson let out a loud screech of, "What the hell is on your face Draco?" Someone tried to unconvincingly cover a snort with cough and snickers could soon be heard. In less than twenty seconds, a majority of the room lost it and began to laugh hysterically.

Draco jumped up indignantly, "Stop laughing! It's not real! I don't really look like that!" When everyone ignored him in favor of chuckling some more, he turned his fury on the one responsible. "This is all _your fault_!" He pointed dramatically to Harry. "You caused all this!"

"How am I responsible for this?" he asked incredulously. "You think I _wanted_ the world to think we look like this?"

"You let that blasted woman write this! You couldn't let the fame go. No, no, no… Never for Saint Potter, who always has to have his face plastered in some tabloid!" Draco ranted, "What the fuck did you let them do to my face? We're only in our fucking thirties!"

"Don't you think I know that!" Harry shouted back, "Why do you think I've brought you all here? We need to find this footage and destroy it immediately. As your Head Auror, I demand you all to put aside any current cases until this one is resolved."

There was a stunned silence. "Erm… Are you sure about this mate?" Seamus piped in, "I know you're angry and all that, but it this really necessary? And I'm not even an auror, so why the hell did you invite me along?"

"Yeah, Harry," Dean said, "Most of us that you invited aren't aurors. Besides, we have our own jobs to attend to."

"And hey, where are the pictures of Fred and me in this movie?" George asked.

"Erm… Fred's dead." Someone near the back called out.

"What? I'm right here. Look!" Fred said indignantly.

Beesworth explained, "According to the books you're dead. You died in the Hogwarts Battle. Then George committed suicide because he was in love with you and he feared his family's reaction to incest. He had never confessed his feelings in fear of your rejection. And as the years went by following his death, you withered away until you were just a hollow shell. No more laughs or pranks… Just nothingness. Fred was the other half to your soul and you died with him that sad day." There was a stunned silence and a few sniffles could be heard.

"Wow, mate… That was deep." Seamus said, "I can't believe they never told us."

"Seamus," Harry said exasperated, "Fred and George are still here. The incest love story never happened. That's all the crazy fans talking. Now we need to plan how we're going to do this."

"Sir…" Another trainee asked hesitantly, "Do you have the Minister's or the Wizgamont's permission to do this?"

Harry dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "If they saw these photos, they would understand our plight. Now we must do this. If you don't feel comfortable about this, then you can leave." To his dismay, most of his aurors left in a hurry, not willing to risk the wrath of the Minister or the Wizgamont. Only a few of the more loyal ones remained. All of the Gryffindors stayed and the three Slytherins.

Harry cleared his throat. "So I'm thinking we should break into the Harry Potter movie sets and search for the editor's room. The film's most likely in there. I know most of you in here are not aurors, but I need your help. This more directly affects you and I think we should work together just this once to solve this… problem."

"Why are the Slytherins invited along?" Seamus asked stubbornly. "They'll most likely screw it up on purpose."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Please, you've met Malfoy. His ego won't allow for that image to be shown to the public. Now are you guys with me or not?" When he received nods or coolly raised eyebrows from some he continued, "Now, here's the plan…"

~*~ HDHDHD ~*~

Draco Malfoy was lounging gracefully in the manor. As if he could ever lounge ungracefully. It would have been breaking the Malfoy Etiquette Rule # 192. He was thinking about Potter's latest plan. Draco rolled his eyes. It was honestly one of the worst plans he'd ever heard of. They were to all apparate to the set and then search every square inch of the area until they found the damn footage.

Draco's eyebrows rose as the floo lit up with green flames. Blaise suddenly strolled in with something under his arm. "Draco, I have a plan." He announced. He lifted up his hand and brandished the laptop computer.

The blonde aristocrat let out an exasperated sigh, "What have I told you about bringing those things here? Keep them with yourself and your mudblood wife."

"My _late_ mudblood wife you mean." Blaise corrected. "You should have done what I did and married a Muggle born. It does wonders for your reputation. Most of the population can no longer accuse you of being an evil mudblood hating prat."

He waved a dismissive hand. "That still doesn't explain why you've brought the muggle thing here," Draco grimaced, "Father is probably rolling in his grave right now."

The darker wizard replied, "I think we should investigate these photos ourselves. For all we know, Potter doctored them in order to lure us into a trap."

Draco snorted, "As if the Golden Boy would ever lower himself to devious schemes. He couldn't if his life depended on it."

Instead of replying, Blaise opened up the laptop and clicked to go on the internet. He paused when he reached the Google site and frowned. "How do you think Potter found the pictures? What heading would they be under?"

Draco shrugged, "How the fuck should I know? Just search my name and click for the pictures." After a few moments, Blaise clicked to the Images. Both Slytherins leaned forward eagerly. Two sets of eyebrows rose as they read captions of: 'Come to the Dark Side. We have Him'. Blaise could literally see Draco's chest puff up as he read the icons. "See that Blaise? My fans want to be the apples I eat just so they can be near me. Most of yours don't even know your gender." Before the other wizard could reply, Draco shoved him out of the way of the screen, "Let's see what photos they have of Potter." He immediately typed in Potter's name without bothering to delete his own.

"Wait Draco," Blaise started, "You have to delete what we typed in earlier to search for a new-" But Draco had already pressed search. When the images loaded to the screen based off the search: 'Draco Malfoy Harry Potter', both men went silent in shock.

There, on the screen, were hundreds of pictures of him and _Potter_ in less than decent positions with each other. Some were so realistic of him and Potter cuddling in bed, Draco wondered if they'd actually happened and Potter obliviated him afterward. He scrolled down and it was the same thing everywhere. He shuddered as he passed one of him with his father. Who the hell thought of these things?

He turned wide eyes to Blaise, who finally broke the silence, "Well, I suppose this explains why you broke things off with Pansy."

These words snapped Draco out of his coma-like daze. "What? You think Potter and I actually… What the fuck's wrong with you? Of course Potter and I haven't done any of this. We hate each other!"

"There's a thin line between love and hate-"

"-We're NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER!" When Draco started brandishing his wand wildly, Blaise beat a hasty retreat to the floo. Draco continued to rant to the empty room about his innocence in all of this and it was clearly a plot designed by Potter in order to throw him off the trail. As for what the trail was, Draco didn't know, but he was determined to find out.

He snuck another glance at the screen. He and Potter didn't look half-bad in some of the pictures. _Not_, Draco reminded himself, _that it meant he now found Potter attractive. Not in the least,_ He nodded to himself firmly. Under one of the pictures it said something about Drarry. His forehead furrowed while he thought about it, but then he remembered that it could cause him to get wrinkles, so he stopped immediately. _Drarry… Drarry… Draco.. Harry… Drarry!_

Draco could have smacked himself for not getting it the first time he heard it. His curiosity got the better of him and he decided to Google this new term. Several links popped up. Draco clicked on the first one.

_ Hmmm… PWP, I wonder what that stands for. I'll just go down the screen a bit and read in the middle of it to skip the boring stuff…. WHAT THE FUC-_

~*~ HDHDHD ~*~

Draco was trying to look at anything other than Potter as the entire group gathered in the tiny office before takeoff. Draco kept shooting covert looks at Potter when he thought no one was looking. The frazzled auror was barking out orders to everyone and pairing them up. Draco eyed the man's stomach. Maybe those writers were onto something when they talked about 'Quidditch toned muscles'. He flushed as he remembered all the little details that went along with those Quidditch toned abs. Everything from chocolate sauce to strawberry jam. There was even one that involved bondage cheese if he recalled. And he didn't even want to start thinking about those moving and talking pictures on a MeTube or something site he found.

Potter grabbed his wand to make his voice louder, but all Draco could do was focus on those long, slender digits. He barely stifled a moan as he imagined those fingers wrapped around a different sort of wand. He tried to casually adjust his now too tight trousers. Potter was about to pair him off with someone when the door burst open.

A dark haired woman ran in breathlessly. Her dress was extremely short and low cut; it was a wonder she was able to run that fast. Potter's face looked horrified. He swallowed hard for a few moments before finding his voice, "Romilda, what are you doing?"

She twittered at him, "Why I'm here to help you of course." She clutched at Potter's hand and smashed her breasts against his arm. She batted her eyelashes in what she must have thought was a seductive move and leaned even closer, ignoring the uncomfortable auror's attempts to detangle himself. Draco ground his teeth so hard it was a wonder no one else in the room could hear it. "I heard you were going on a dangerous mission and you needed volunteers. Just imagine Harry, it'll be all dark, emotions running high. What if a guard comes by and we have to hide ourselves in a small closet…" She winked at him and puckered her lips. Personally, Draco thought she looked as if she'd swallowed several handfuls of lemons. And all he wanted to do was throw said lemons in the annoying chit's face.

Potter looked around wildly before his gaze landed on Draco. His face brightened as he told Romilda that he was, "Unfortunately already partnered with Malfoy. Perhaps another time." Draco smirked triumphantly at her when Potter's back was turned.

Potter instructed them further before grabbing Draco's arm to apparate. Draco used this opportunity to scoot closer and he subtly inhaled the auror's scent. It was surprisingly a woodsy smell with a faint hint of something distinctly Potter-like underneath. He barely got a chance to enjoy the moment before the feeling of sidelong apparition came over him.

~*~ HDHDHD ~*~

Potter was leading the way as Draco trailed after him from room to room. The search had already been an hour and Potter had yet to say more than a few words to him. Draco didn't mind too much. It just gave him more time to ogle at Potter's arse. He half felt like crucioing himself for these thoughts. _It was hardly his fault. If anyone was to blame, it was those damn people on that site. Who the hell came up with those plots?_ He rolled his eyes, _Then again, plot? What plot?_

A sudden stroke of brilliance came over him. He could use the same techniques as those fictional Dracos used in order to seduce Potter. How else was he going to find out about those Quidditch toned muscles? First he was going to seduce Potter, then he'd fuck him, and then he would tease him mercilessly for his lack of Quidditch toned abs.

Draco frowned as he realized something. Most of those stories took place in Hogwarts. There wasn't any way for him to somehow land them both in detention or for them to "accidentally" meet in the Prefects Bathroom. Potter wasn't ill, so he couldn't seduce him in St. Mungo's or in the hospital wing. Draco wasn't even an auror, so he couldn't order an immediate strip search… or even a cavity search… His face fell.

Potter came to a stand still in front of him and turned around. Draco crashed into him, bringing both of them to the floor in a heap. As he grumbled about his ruined robes, Potter smacked a hand over his mouth. "Do you hear that?" Potter hissed out. Draco paused but heard nothing. Before he could say anything, the other man grabbed the front of his shirt and dragged him into the nearest room. He shut the door and locked it for good measure.

"Why, Potter," Draco drawled, "If you wanted to get your hands all over my hot little body, you only had to ask."

"Fuck off, Malfoy!" Potter said, flushing. "I thought I heard someone out there."

Draco was about to give a retort when he noticed the blush that was creeping down Potter's neck. Why would Potter be so embarrassed over a small comment? It didn't make any sense unless… _No…_ Draco's eyes widened, _It couldn't be…There was no way Potter looked at him like __that__ was there?_ His mind raced with a million thoughts. Potter must have planned this whole scheme in a Gryffindorish attempt at seduction. Draco almost cackled with glee.

Draco eyed the unsuspecting Gryffindor. It certainly wouldn't hurt if he just _helped _Potter along. So which method should he use first? There was one memorable story where he'd just slammed Potter up against a wall and snogged the life out of him because of a spell gone awry. He frowned. There wasn't anyone attacking him with spells. Damn it.

"I think whoever it was went away." Potter whispered, as he crept back toward the door. "We should be okay to –mmph!" Draco had grabbed him and slammed him against the wall while covering his mouth with his hand. Potter glared at him before starting to yell.

"Shut up Potter!" Draco hissed as loudly as he dared, "Do you want them to find us?" There was of course no one out there. This was just an opportunity to grope Potter freely. He slowly lowered his hand from his mouth.

Potter paused and listened for a moment before frowning at him. "There's no one there Malfoy. Now let me go!" Potter immediately began to struggle, which didn't do a thing to help Draco's libido. His eyes glazed over as he remembered some of the fiction stories that involved a naked Potter struggling in handcuffs. He was brought sharply out of his daydream when Potter's groin smashed against his in his attempts to escape. His cock hardened instantly and he couldn't stop the lustful moan that escaped him.

Potter froze immediately, staring at the Slytherin in disbelief. He hesitantly thrust against the blonde again. Draco took a sharp intake of breath. _Salazar on a stick that felt good!_ "Malfoy, are you…" Potter cut himself off as he looked into Draco's dilated eyes. They were all black with just a little silvery ring around them.

Draco cleared his throat. Now was the time to use some of those techniques he'd read about. "Potter… Have you heard of Platform 9 and ¾? Well, I can think of something else with the exact same measurements..." When all Potter did was gape at him, he decided to ump the ante. He leaned close to Potter's ear and breathed, "I hear you're still a decent Quidditch player. Wanna ride my broomstick?" He wrapped his lips around the earlobe and sucked gently.

"Malfoy…" Potter choked out, turning his head to the side in an attempt to get away. Draco didn't mind, and he began to place light kisses and nips along the brunette's neck, working his way slowly to the collar bone. All Potter did was take in shaky breaths. Draco rolled his eyes. After all the effort he was putting into this to help Potter out with his attempts to seduce _him_, the least the other man could do was respond a little better. _Clearly_ the not-so-subtle pick up lines were not being picked up by Potter's thick skull. The time for subtlety was over Draco decided and crashed his lips against Potter's gobsmacked ones.

Draco groaned deep in his throat and moved his lips against the dry, chapped ones. He nibbled gently on the low lip and then soothed it with his tongue. After several moments of having his lips pressed against unresponsive ones, Draco got irritated. It was absolutely no fun when Potter didn't even react. _You'd think he didn't want this,_ Draco thought annoyed. The brunette seemed glued to the spot. The blonde's patience wore out, and he shoved his hand down the auror's pants and squeezed him roughly.

When Potter's lips gasped in shock, Draco wasted no time in slipping his tongue in. He methodically explored every square inch he could reach. _This was bliss,_ he thought dizzily when Potter began to slowly respond back. The kiss was electrifying. So frightening, yet thrilling at the same time. He continued squeezing Potter's cock.

Potter pulled away with a gasp, "Malfoy… what are you doing?"

Draco sagged against Potter and took in desperate gulps of air. His face was buried in his neck as he tried to regain his composure. The sun-kissed skin in front of him looked so damn edible. He leaned his head in and slowly bit into the skin and began to suck greedily. When he pulled away, a beautiful dark red bruise was starting to grow. He looked up at Potter's face, and was pleased to see green eyes completely glazed over. "In case you haven't noticed Potter, I seem to be inexplicably attracted to you."

The brunette seemed to snap out of it, and he shoved Draco away, although it was done halfheartedly. "But… Why?"

Draco rolled his eyes and decided the best way to shut Potter up was to either kiss him, or grab his cock. He rushed forward and did both. While his tongue was swiping harshly against the brunette's bottom lip, his right hand was jerking the man off, and his left was trying desperately to unzip Potter's trousers. When he tugged them down along with Potter's pants, he finally got a chance to look down at his prize.

It was long, perfect, and jutting from a nest of black curls. It was already a livid shade of red, and in a flash, he was down on his knees before he could even register the movement. His hand continued to slide against the heated flesh. Even though it was at an odd angle, he soon found his rhythm. He buried his nose in the curls and inhaled deeply. Merlin, it was intoxicating. He glanced up at Potter's face, but it was faced towards the ceiling as he continued to chant, "Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god…"

Draco pat his leg in what he hoped was a comforting manner before running his tongue against the thick vein and then swallowing as much as he could. He immediately felt the need to gag. But he swallowed furiously in an effort to fight it off. His hand continued to touch the parts his mouth couldn't reach. Potter let out a wanton moan and his hands started running through the blonde locks. Normally, Draco would have been annoyed, but right now he couldn't give a damn. He was on his knees and sucking _Potter's cock_. He moaned around the heated flesh at the reminder. Potter thrust harshly with a groan. Draco's eyes watered as he felt Potter's prick brush against the back of his throat. He wanted to pull back and glare at Potter for his thoughtlessness, but he feared if he did, the other man would put a stop to… whatever the hell this was if he got a chance to think. Draco hummed around the heavy flesh lying on his tongue. The vibrations caused Potter to tremble violently.

When Potter began to thrust even more erratically, Draco knew he was close. He let his hand slide down to caress his sac, and then pressed against the sensitive flesh behind it. He curled his tongue against the head and sucked as hard as he could, hollowing his cheeks.

"Malfoy… Malfoy, I'm gonna-" Potter's words came out in shuddering gasps as he tried to give him a warning. Draco hummed around the head and allowed one finger to slide in Potter's hole. The Gryffindor's head slammed back into the wall with a loud crack as he came forcefully. Draco nearly choked on what seemed like a never ending amount of the hot, bitter liquid. He continued to suck gently until Potter's hands pushed him away. He leaned back to sit on his heels while Potter recovered.

The room was silent expect for their harsh breathing. Potter finally spoke, "Malfoy… that was…" Potter seemed at a loss for words. His gaze fell on the large bulge still in Draco's trousers. "I… You haven't… Do you want me to take care of that for you?"

Draco looked at Potter's anxiously worried face and sighed, "It's fine, Potter. You don't have to do it." Besides, if he pushed the issue, Potter might run away. Draco stood up and attempted to make his trousers more comfortable.

Potter licked his lips slowly, watching Draco's eyes follow the movement. He hesitated for a moment, making up his mind. "Oh, fuck it." He muttered, before grabbing the front of Draco's shirt and crashed their lips together. Draco opened his mouth in surprise, allowing Potter to taste himself. Grey eyes slid shut as the owner whimpered in pleasure. Potter's hands were running through his hair again, and Draco would rather perform a self-Avada Kedavra than tell him to stop.

Potter stopped and took a deep breath before grabbing the blonde's belt and dragging him towards the desk in the small office. He swept everything onto the floor with a noisy crash. He grinned at the Slytherin. "I've always wanted to do that."

Potter then shoved him face down onto the desk and leaned over, chuckling softly as he whispered in a husky voice, "And Malfoy, I might not be wearing an invisibility cloak right now, but I'm still gonna be entering your restricted section tonight…"

~*~ HDHDHD ~*~

"…Wow." Draco whispered, finally catching his breath. They had somehow ended up on the floor and Potter was spooning behind him, planting kisses along his spine.

"Mmmm… That was great." Potter rolled him over and smiled down at him. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but… Why?" Draco glanced down and ran his hands along the auror's delicious six-pack. Damn, those writers had been onto something with those 'Quidditch toned muscles'. Draco began wondering if they were also right about Potter's kink for collars. He felt his spent cock start to rise up in interest. Potter looked at him incredulously, "God, you're insatiable!" Then he looked around at the half-destroyed office guiltily. "We should have been looking for that film."

Draco sighed at him, "Forget about the film Potter. We're over with anyway."

Potter sent him a hurt look before shoving off of him. He stood up and started to gather his strewn clothes. Draco fought the strong urge to roll his eyes, _Stupid Gryffindor sensitivities._ "Potter quit acting like such a Hufflepuff over this. It's not that big of a deal."

"To you it is," Potter was still searching for his lost pants as he ranted, "You've probably already sent the news to the Daily Prophet."

"Potter, you have to let it go. We're not as big of a deal as we used to be. Let the fame go!"

Potter paused and frowned at him, "What in the name of Merlin are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that the masses have moved on." Draco explained impatiently, "Their passion has left them, the ardour has waned, the flames of their burning obsessions have been snuffed out, the muses have abandoned them in favor of other-"

" – What the hell are you on about Malfoy?" Potter demanded.

"The FANS, Potter! They have given up on our pairing! I read it online. Even the most devout of Drarry shippers are now producing Merthur fan fiction!"

"Merthur…?"

"Merlin and Arthur pairing," Draco waved his hand dismissively, "The point is that we're losing our touch. No one cares about Drarry anymore…"

"… But wasn't Merlin really _old_ when he met Arthur. Isn't that like a dirty old man sort of… thing?"

Draco snapped his fingers at the auror, "Focus Potter. The point is that we're OVER! No one's going to care about that epilogue."

"…"

"So, if you think about this logically _Harry,_ we should give up this ridiculous search and put our excess energy to better uses." Draco ended in a purr.

"Oh…" said Harry, cottoning on, "I agree, it would be a waste if we didn't put all our effort into this new task. The search can wait. This is our top priority. I mean the original objective was a top priority too, but this one should really be considered the-"

As Harry continued his inane dirty talk babbling, Draco had to hide a smile. He would have described the babbling as adorable if he could have stomached the word. The man was still clutching his bunched up clothes, partially covering up his nudity. Draco frowned. He would have to rectify that.

"- and even though _you're_ not an auror you should still feel the need to finish this case. Although, you've never held any respect to the law. _Not _that you're a criminal. Well, you are, but the Wizgamont set you free. Not that it's a bad thing. I mean, criminals are bad and should be punished. Not you of course-"

And really, it was practically Draco's duty to silence Potter the only way he knew how.

"- Potter… just shut up and kiss me already."

Fin

* * *

**So… what did you think? Good? Bad? Boring? Awesome? Was the sex part good enough, or do I need to work on it more? Was it too vague? Lemme know. R&R, please**

**XOXO**

**Sable-eyed-lily**


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